Vietnam. Part II.

Gene  Dove By Gene Dove, 8th Mar 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Travel>Asia>Vietnam>Hanoi & Around

Heard you ever of the cruelty of wild elephants on the musical ability and longevity of carp French Governor of Vietnam? Do you know what is common between radio-controlled model airplane and a high moral citizen of Vietnamese apartments? All this was read the second part of the essay.


For all of us familiar fruit is a banana. But the Vietnamese eat a banana in a special way. Since we eat bananas, Europeans, according to the Vietnamese eat only “khỉ”- silly monkeys. According to an ancient Vietnamese legend, one of the rulers of Vietnam has been poisoned. He ate the poisoned banana. In one of the two extremities of the banana with a silver needle was introduced poison. Thus, eating a banana, as we and monkeys, can always be poisoned. Reared Vietnamese break the banana into two parts, clean a bit of skin and begin to eat in the middle, not eat to tips of the banana, which according to legend, was a poison for the ruler of Vietnam.
Now we talk a little about Vietnamese language, which I with the European accent I can say no more than fifty words.
When the aliens begin to learn English, the most difficult, that "to innocent" people are given diphthongs - double, while sounding consonants. For example, the diphthongs named "th" or "zh".
Sweet my heart Englishmen! I do not think that thanks to your diphthong, you would have been easier to teach Vietnamese language. Vietnamese, in many respects - is solid diphthongs. But what! For example, this is the diphthong “kh”. The word “có" - in Vietnam language is "yes." The word “không có” means in Vietnamese "no." Hear Simple as that! But most importantly, in the Vietnamese language other - that kept me ever. This is intonation in the pronunciation of words. Depending on rising, falling intonation in the pronunciation of individual words and letters of a word, different modulations of voice, changing the meaning. His writing Vietnamese didn’t have. Vietnamese alphabet - spelling of words in the Latin alphabet - brought to Vietnamese the first colonizers - the French.
I had to talk to one of the districts of the country’s leaders - the districts Secretary of the Communist Party of Vietnam, (his brother lives in France - they are "ideological opponents"). His nickname translated from the Vietnamese something similar to Molotov or Stalin. Communist leader, based, obviously, from the information received from one of the Vietnamese call him V., wanted to talk with me. He wanted, as much as possible, find out about me, so different from others around me Russian. His first question was: «Parlez-vous François? » Heard a negative response, he waved and continued on in English: "What a pity that it happened - we are very early kicked out the French from our country. They have such a culture; they have so much to give us. And you are Russian, as Americans, the same, only know how to fight and nothing more! "
Let’s return to the French alphabet of Vietnamese language. Written on paper, the words "sao", ”tao”, or “bao” are have only one differences – the first litter. But orally, when Vietnamese speak European eye not hear any differences. Depending on the modulation of voice Vietnamese can have 3 values - is "stars", "I" and “how” accordingly.
By the way here some words about the French. When I was in Vietnam, began again French, but "peaceful" intervention in the country. I once lived in a hotel in Saigon. Early one morning I, as usual, had breakfast Vietnamese kruasson, cooked in a bakery, built the French. For breakfast down on stairway the charming couple - who settled just yesterday the Frenchman and his young visitor. This girl's mother, obviously, was Vietnamese, and threw their father - the French colonizer. The girl was very beautiful, like most children of mixed marriages. In her hands was the book. A young man by the constitution and developed muscles reminiscent looked like as Jean-Claude Van Damme. His appearance is clearly spoiled points goggles supplied with simple, not dioptric glasses, and some, uncharacteristic for him, silly books. He carried ones so carefully as not to bruise - as an old mercury detonator with explosives. Its unfortunate image amused me, and happy in love and do not understand anything in his French "teacher," the girl obviously was pretty. I really like the female Vietnamese name "morning freshness". So this girl was so fresh...
Referred to as "smoothly", it seems to me, go to the animal world of Vietnam. On Dong - the currency of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam - now I do not remember any dignity - shows the country's national pride - Vietnamese elephants. But zoologists have criticized my further description of the fauna of the country, which I'm doing is so vulgar. On the Vietnamese elephants, I want to say the following news, which I was told on arrival in the country. Elephants, as we know, there are tame and wild. Vietnam dong shows elephants producing out an agricultural work - carrying of logs for the fences. Wild elephants live in jungles – and believe the people of his worst enemies. Hunters one located in the jungle villages to hunt elephants. They seem to have accidentally killed a not adults, and a small elephant. After a few days, elephants, like a real military unit of special-purpose after some days of murder of elephant’s child surrounded the village and took in the ring. They trampled all - big and small - in the village. No one escaped. Now, many years later, probably already be something else to say about Vietnam's elephants. Money with their image - Vietnamese Dong - published in the USSR, the third-largest mint country - at the factory state marks in the Siberian city of Perm.
Flora of Vietnam "in concentrated form," presented at the Hanoi French garden of the former governor, who is close to the “pagoda on one leg” (built in the XV century). The garden has a pond - something I continue to write – are not my words, and words of Vietnamese - believe it or not. In the pond live carp. Each of these fish is in 300 years. Feeding the carp is a little wooden pier, equipped with a pond. Every carp responds only to the unique sound of his bell sounded in the hands of feeding from the jetty. Carp swim in nursing that knows him by name and from his hands, tilted over the water, get food. All this I saw with my own eyes. But I saw only one bell and one carp. I do not know how in Vietnamese to ask: "Hey fellow, how old are you and how much you have brothers and sisters your age? »
Animal world of Vietnam hit me on the first day of my acquaintance with the country in the metropolitan room "upscale" hotel in Hanoi. Or rather - I always get them mixed up - they were not animals, and insects. They are flying cockroaches.
Subsequently, I met with other representatives of the fauna of Vietnam. Forgive me, zoologists; I do not know their real names in Latin. But I know what kind of nicknames they gave the Soviet specialists, builders, who worked in Vietnam. I think the West is well known that the Soviet Union, unlike the Americans had only two foreign naval bases. One of them - it’s Kamran base in southern Vietnam, which built the Soviet builders after American ones. They were the first from the Russian, met with the animal world of Vietnam, faced daily at home. Navy and builders Kamran gave them clear Russian names.
Flying cockroach named “Stepashka”. There was initially disgusting, but perfectly harmless lizards the size of half of woman arm, called “Mashkа”. Poisonous spiders, the size of a tennis ball, obviously, in honor of a potential enemy, called for some reason in English – “Richards.”
So let me introduce you my weak, does not hold water, zoological description of flying cockroaches – “Stepashki”. The size they were with the thumb of a man's hand. Wingspan is two thumbs of the same hand. “Stepashki” - were committed by spouses. Where they are found in each room contains one pair.
So how do I take my acquaintance with the fauna of Vietnam? Entering the first time in a hotel room, standing near the door inside the room, I saw this loathsome, crawling monster. Rather from fear than consciously, I crushed his foot in the shoe of the first “Stepashka”. I think that this was a female. Suddenly I heard a strange sound emanating from the opposite side of the room, the closed windows of the room. This is a run, flew in the flying cockroach-male - to avenge the death of his beloved friend. He let out a strange sound, obviously, by his wings. This is the sound resembled a bad crash a motorcycle engine of small capacity. Cockroach walked to ram me into a frontal attack. He saw me perfectly, gained height and flew at my nose, right in my eyes. Outwardly, it resembled a biplane Fokker the World War I. But, as the first airplane the Wright brothers, flying cockroach could not make abrupt bends and turns. When "Stepashka" in a frontal attack almost grabbed my nose, I abruptly walked away, but he continued to fly in a straight trajectory. Flying past me, cockroach, he went away to the side, I knocked cooked slippers. Being in the shoes, I mercilessly crushed downed "pilot". It was good to me that this incident did not see the Buddhists from the Vietnamese. Crack from a crushed body downed "pilot" was such as if I crushed the box with much dried biscuits. And what was the smell! Chirr! Br-rr!
I continue my ethnographic notes on Vietnam. The following representatives of fauna of this country, is “Mashka” - a harmless lizard eating mosquitoes, midges and other blood-sucking flies. It's all good, what can I say about her. Next go only bad feature of this creature. Size it with half of woman hand, I said. Has a whitish color with a pale, barely stood out in red blotches. In short, anyone who knows, he already understand me - color of lizards - the color of human corpses in the first stage of decomposition. Head and open jaws of a lizard, when it hunts for mosquitoes, similar to fall imaginary animals from the movies “Aliens”, “The thing” and other similar creations of Hollywood combined. She is very quick. Thanks to clear some suckers on the feet, easy climbs on the ceiling and absolutely perpendicular walls. Shorter to say she was world champion at lightweight climbing.
I tell the episode of my first time, thanks God, no contact meeting with this lizard.
I lived on the top floor high-rise hotel at Hanoi, located near the Sword Lake. One night I woke up suddenly. A window curtain was parted and was seen shining moon. Through the window glass in the moonlight, looked at me a lizard "Mashka", devouring this delicious midget’s height of the building. "Mashka" was smiling in all his ugly mouth. It is easy to clinging to the wall of the building hind legs and front - in glass. It seemed to me that the giant lizard blinked my own, unblinking eyes and said: "Well, do you like in Vietnam?" To be honest - I did not have the courage to stand up and curtain window from a lizard. I thought she catch at me through the glass...
Spiders under the name of our former potential enemies – “Richards” - I've never seen. They say that they are deadly poisonous to humans in certain months of the year - when the Vietnam spring. And, usually, "Richards" - this is an ordinary little spider. In a moment of danger, he swells to the size of a tennis ball, and thus terribly afraid of people. That's all about this spider.
There were accidents when in Vietnam I had to live in private homes, where toilet was in the yard. Always at the door of a toilet room, for Russian visitor was carefully prepared a stick leaning against the wall. Only the first day exploring the yard toilet, I asked: "And what a stick?" I immediately received the answer: “As for what? You will go to the toilet and met a snake. The stick is needed to ward off snakes. "
Once I was in South Vietnam, where lived in the house of European construction. It was one of the centers of residence of the Russian community of Soviet times. Residing in Vietnam for Soviet citizens was recommended by a specially constructed relay watch TV from the Soviet Union, especially in the daily political and informational program "Time", which started at nine o'clock in the evening.
Opposite the house where I lived, there was another house. One of the entrances of the house goes directly to the window of my temporary apartment. In the basement entrance of the house opposite lived giant lizard. His could not catch him. But at nine o'clock every evening - so you can to set the clock to the correct time - lizard climbed from the basement to the main entrance, on the first floor. As soon as a propaganda TV program "Time" goes on from the beginning, lizard let out a weird and unbearable cry. Giant lizard did not like politics.


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author avatar Gene Dove
I'm just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told.

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
10th Mar 2011 (#)

Vietnam has an unforgettable history.

A good historical information on Vietnam.

Very well done.

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author avatar Gene Dove
10th Mar 2011 (#)

Thanks for Your, as always, very pleasant understanding of my posting

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